Written by Becky Garrison
Our Bacon, which art been cured,
Sizzle be thy flame.
Thy pig undone.
Thy slice be done in pan,
As it is in broiler.
Give us this day our daily pork.
Forgive us for not embracing your brine,
As we forgive those who curse carbonara.
And lead to try turkey bacon,
And maybe some veggie too.
For thine is the crispy,
The crunch, and the grease,
For ever and ever.
I believe in Bacon, the Friar Almighty, King of all breakfast meats;
and in Juicy Crisp, His only Son Our Lard,
Who came from the belly of the pig, removed from the side, stripped from the back, was sliced, knifed, and was butchered.
It descended into brine; the third day He rose again uncured;
It ascended into the pan, and sitteth at the right hand of eggs, the breakfast platter; from thence it shall be eaten at lunch and dinner.
I believe bacon brownies, bacon flavored vodka, bacon ice cream, bacon flavored toothpaste, bacon wrapped scallops and bacon & donuts.
Lard, make me an instrument of thy pieces.
Where there is hot flames, let me sow lard;
Where there is eggs, crisps;
Where there is salad, bits;
Where there is scallops, wraps;
Where there is donuts, strips;
Where there is baked beans, grease.
O divine Bacon, grant that we may not so much seek
To be consumed as to consume,
To be crumbled as to crumble,
To be fried as to fry;
For it is in greasing that we slide;
It is in grilling that we are good.
It is in trying the fat that we truly celebrate our earthly life.
Let us pray. Bless, O Lard, this Bacon which we have cooked, that it may be an effective remedy to spice up our senses. Grant by the invocation of your holy flame that all who partake of the strip may obtain health of body and sizzle of soul, through Juicy Crisp our Lard.