• Praise Bacon

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1. Which is a tenet/commandment of The United Church of Bacon?
A) Greed is good
B) You must knock on doors every Sunday morning to “spread the good word”
C) Be generous
D) none of the above

2. What is our sacrament when given communion?
A) A veggie burger
B) A shrimp
C) Either a piece of pork, turkey, or veggie bacon, depending on the sect you belong to.
B) Kibbles & bits

3. When Prophet John travels to far reaches of the earth, are his expenses paid by bacon shop royalties?
A) yes, First Class suites, 5 star hotels, max of $200 per meal.
B) yes, but insists on private jets only, as he does not want to ride in a “tube flying through the air filled with demons” ( borrowed from “Dr” Kenneth Copeland’s statement)
C) no, clergy cannot accept money
D) Hell yes, bilking is a tenet of the church

4. Are wedding officiants allowed to take money for their services?
A) Yes, because greed is promoted in the church that pays taxes
B) Yes because some pastors in megachurches are worth over a billion dollars, and hey, it is our turn to bilk the public
C) No, the church pays taxes, and does not accept donations, and only asks for others to donate to the charity of their choosing when doing the services
D) None of the above

5. What are the dues for yearly membership in the United Church of Bacon?
A) 10% of all income you make, even if it means you are below the poverty line.
B) As much as you can- remember you have to get a front row seat in Heaven/ Nirvana/Valhala
C) Donations not allowed. However, royalties received through CafePress go 100% to help fund billboards
D) 50% of income

6. Can your pet become a member in the United Church of Bacon?
A) No
C) Yes, and baptism and confirmation is when your pet is presented with a piece of Bacon and it is obvious he/she/ seems to worship the Bacon before receiving the sacrament.
D) He double hockey sticks no!

7. What are administrators in the United Church of Bacon paid?
A) Up to 1 million dollars
B) $500 per hour
C) Nothing
D) Anywhere between $110- $500

8. What are the three sects of Praise Bacon in the church?
A) Turkey, Pork
B) Turkey, Veggie
C) Pork, Turkey, Veggie
D) None of the above

9. Have you ever personally heard of any violence between the Pork, Turkey, and Veggie sects?
A) Yes
B) Maybe
C) No
D) None of the above

10. How many members are in the United Church of Bacon?
A) 300
B) 3000
C) 30,000+
D) 666


Has there ever been violence between the pork, turkey, and veggie sects?
A) Yes
B) Maybe
C) No! Unlike other religions that fight between the sects, and even have fights inside the sects.
D) None of the above

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